Saturday, May 17, 2014

Without Him.

For three months now I have wanted to write. What exactly? I'm not sure. But there is so much inside that I need to get out.

My world changed three months ago. My dad left me. Here. Without him. And that was it. I wasn't ready for him to go. It wasn't fair. No one asked me if I was ready to live in a world without my Dad. No one told me it was coming. No one warned me how hard it was going to be. No one told me just how much I would miss him. No one told me that I would wake up every morning hoping that it was all just some horrible, sick bad dream. No one told me I would pick up my phone to call him, only to have a knife stuck deep into my chest once again when I realize that I can't call him. He's gone. No one told me that literally everything would remind me of him. in some way. No one could have prepared me for this.

I would give anything. literally anything. to be able to see him. to spend one more second with him. to tell him one more time how much I love him. to be able to hear him tell me one more time that he is proud of me.

I want to share the words I spoke at his memorial.

"I never could imagine how it would be possible to live in a world without my Dad. He was the first man to ever love me. He was the one who told me stories at night to help me fall asleep. He was at every recital, school play, sporting event, and graduation cheering me on and being as proud as can be. He was the one I stood next to in the kitchen where I learned the love of cooking, and he was the one I couldn't wait to share exciting news with. He was my rock.

Conversations with my Dad were always something I looked forward to. They were always filled with dreams, plans, direction, and hope. He believed in me. Sometimes more than I believed in myself. He never held back in telling me how proud he is of me. I love the way he loved me. I love the way he loved Stephen, and especially how he loved Riley, Kennedy, and this new life inside of me.

I will forever do my best to be the person he saw in me. I pray that I can love my kids the way he loved me.

And I realized it is possible to live in this world because although I cannot see him, I feel him in everything around me. He will be apart of every happiness I ever experience, every dream I ever pursue, and every memory that ever fills my thoughts. I know that I will see him again, and I know that I am a better person because I knew and was loved by my greatest hero, my Daddy."

I find so much joy and peace knowing that I will see him again. But as comforting as that sounds, it's not the same. I want to share with him each and every moment here. now. I want to be able to talk to him about the little things.

I know that he is watching over me. I feel him all around me. I thank God for that. I thank God for all the memories that I have. The precious ones I can hold onto and use to bring a smile to my face. A smile among all the tears.

i love you daddy.














Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Seven Years of Bliss!

Yesterday my love and I celebrated SEVEN years of marriage! Crazy! The thing I love most about it is the fact that it seriously just keeps getting better and better. I look back to the years prior and realize just how much more I am in love with Stephen. I mean, when we were dating I was amazed by how much I loved him…so to think how much that love has multiplied is simply incredible. Our love for each other comes from our love for God, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised by that. I think ahead to our 10th anniversary, our 20th, our 50th -- I cannot even fathom the love that will be there. I thank God for my marriage and my soulmate. I am blessed.

We celebrated by going to Melting Pot. We go every odd year. This tradition began the night he proposed, then we have gone our 1st, 3rd, 5th, and now 7th anniversary. I like this because we aren't "stuck" doing the same thing every year. Our even years we can change things up a bit and do something different. Like our 10th anniversary. We decided the other day that we are going to celebrate that big one by taking a trip to New York City sans kids. I have never been, and Stephen really wants to take me, so we decided that would be the perfect time! I am already excited.

Dinner was amazing and time alone with my husband was perfect. I treasure those rare times because it reminds me that it's still him and me. Our kids are amazing and I love them beyond words, but next to my God he is the most important person in this world to me.


So here is to our love and the love that is to come! :) Have a happy day! 




Friday, September 20, 2013

An overdue H54F! :)

It has been a month since I last blogged! Holy cow! Not sure how that happened. Oh wait, yes I do. Life happened! Well, since it has been so long I am going to cheat a little and do my high fives from the past month :) Here they are!


1 - I have really loved the morning time I get to spend with Kennedy while Riley is at school. Not that I don't miss my boy, but now I get some one-on-one time with the little miss. And I have to say...I love it! :)


2 - Gator football has officially started my friends! Yay for cute clothes and team spirit! :)


3 - I turned 30! Let me tell you…I am loving it so far! :) We started out the day at one of my faves, First Watch! Stephen then surprised me and told me some of our closet friends were coming over to have lunch with us! It was a log of fun and there were a lot of kids! It was nice to celebrate with them! We were planning on doing dinner out, but since I had to be at church that night time was tight so we ordered in some Chinese from my favorite place! Yum! After church we came home to have cake, then my mom and stepdad watched the kids so Stephen and I could go out! We saw Elysium then hit up some late-night half-priced appetizers! My love also spoiled me with new clothes, jewelry, and accessories! It was a great way to start up a new decade! 


4 - I am so thankful to work with some of the most amazing people! We spent the day at the beach for our Vision Day and it was incredible! So excited about what is to come at West! 

My mom watched the kids for the day so it was a nice little getaway :) That night all of our spouses joined us for dinner then the girls dominated at our scavenger hunt! 



5 - We had a fun day enjoying our city. This is the Four Mile Cove park near the Midpoint Bridge. The kids had never been so we thought we would explore. It was a lot of walking which means with kids it takes about twice as long! There was not one bug or stick that went unnoticed! And as you can see below, I sure am blessed with some adorable kids! :) 



Thanks for stopping by! I hope you take some time to notice the high fives in your busy days! :) Until next week! 

*I'm linking up with Lauren for H54F! 






Monday, August 19, 2013

Without A Sound.

Busy. That word right there describes how the past few weeks have been in the Miller household. Between Riley starting school and my new job {eek!!} I feel like things have been non-stop. It's good. I like being busy. It makes me appreciate the moments when things are a little slower. But it is in all of this busyness that I have to remember to always slow down for what's important. God. Family. Friends.

This morning I was reading in Psalms 19 and was so challenged by the few simple words David wrote so long ago...

"The heavens proclaim the glory of God. The skies display his craftsmanship. Day after day they continue to speak; night after night they make Him known. They speak without a sound or word; their voice is never heard. Yet their message has gone throughout the Earth, and their words to all the world….May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer." (verses 1-4; 14)

Without a sound or word. Have you ever met someone and known them for a while, then discover they are a Christian and it kind of takes you by surprise. Like until they opened their mouth and said "I'm a Christian" you had no idea. That is the person I DO NOT want to be. I want my life to proclaim God's glory without having to open my mouth. I hope that my life points people to Jesus by my actions, not only my words. The day that I decided to follow Jesus with my whole heart is the day that I made a promise to God that my life would be different. It's a choice that I constantly have to make, because besides Jesus, there is no good thing inside of me. And sometimes I have to fight very hard to make sure that Jesus is glorified in everything I do. And sadly, sometimes I fail. But I let this verse challenge my soul, "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you…"

Keep that verse close to your heart so when things get rough you have that prayer to bring you through!

Friday, August 9, 2013

H54F!

It's that day again! I looked forward to writing this post because we had an action packed week with some very special events! So here they are…my five favorite things from this past week.

{1}

This was technically last Thursday…but a certain Little Miss turned TWO! As you can tell, she was very excited!! We spent the morning at the beach, followed by naps, dinner out with family, then everyone came over for cake and presents! :) It was a fun day! 






{2}

Saturday we had Kennedy's Under the Sea party! We all had a great time! There were about 50 of our friends and family there to celebrate with us! Here is a little sneak peak of the happy day!





{3}

We were all so drained after our busy weekend, so on Sunday after church the kids and I spent the day relaxing. Of course we took time to take some funny pictures. 


(4)

Riley started school!! He was sooo excited! On Wednesday, the day before school started, we got to go check out his classroom and meet his teacher! He made himself right at home! The night before we gave him a new book! His favorite…Curious George! When he woke up the next morning he was pretty excited!  He did great going in with no tears…I did shed a few. Happy tears :) When we went to pick him up he had a great big smile on his face and said that he couldn't wait to go back! It's crazy not having him home in the morning. I miss him! but…I have to say it is nice to have some quality time with Kennedy :) She does ask for him though, it's so cute!









{5}

Yesterday we celebrated Riley going to school by having lunch at our favorite place…Jason's Deli! And kids ate free so it was even better! 


I hope you had a wonderful week as well! As always I am linking up with Lauren to bring you H54F! 








Thursday, August 1, 2013

Two Years.


It is so hard to believe that this was two years ago. My sweet little Kennedy has brought so much joy and laughter to our family! She is the sweetest and silliest and sassiest little girl I've ever known! This past year she has changed so very much, and bittersweetly I have loved watching it! She is a gift from God, and I am so blessed to be her Mommy! Happy Birthday, my sweet girl! We love you SO much! 

Friday, July 26, 2013

H54F!

It's Friday!! It's Friday!! There is just something about Fridays that are so wonderful! I am a stay-at-home mommy and my hubby works retail so Fridays really mean absolutely nothing to us, but there is still something great about Fridays.

I skipped the gym this morning because we all kind of slept in this morning. So we had a nice relaxing morning at home followed by a trip to Target. What is it about that store? Sigh. {Cue Fiddler on the Roof…"If I were a rich {wo}man…."}

Well, here is what you have all been waiting for…my HIGH FIVES for the week! Just so you know I linked up with Lauren! :)

-1-


The hubby and I got to have a date night! Love spending some one-on-one time with this guy! 

-2-


My sis and her fam stopped by the other night for a visit and I got to cuddle my little Sophia! 

-3-


Tried out a new pizza...Chicken Alfredo! It was amazing!

-4-


I've been wanting to get Riley a Curious George for a while now since he LOVES him, but did not want to shell out $20 on a stuffed animal. So you can imagine how happy I was when I walked into Kohls and found him for five bucks! Score!

-5-


After dinner last night the kiddos and I went to the park followed by a stop at, as Riley calls it, Ol' McDonalds for some ice cream! I just can't get enough of these two! 

There you have it! Some highlights from our week! Hope you had some wonderful moments as well! And please say a prayer for no rain tonight! We are heading to Sun Splash for Aqua Theater night and don't want to get rained out!! :) 

Until next time!